Muse and Writer Dialogues

Writer: What are you doing?
Muse: Isn’t it obvious? The crossword. Five across, four letters. “Rank and ___”?
Writer: “file”
Muse: Thanks.
Writer: Is this what I pay you for?
Muse: You don’t pay me.
Writer: You know what I mean. We should be at work.
Muse: I am at work.
Writer: So what’s my next story?
Muse: How am I supposed to know that if you don’t?
Writer: !
Muse: Oh, wipe that look off your face.
     You know very well that I don’t exist. I’m
     a convenient personification of Inspiration.
Writer: Since when have you been convenient?
Muse: I’m certainly on-call for blame 24/7.
Writer: But if you don’t exist…
Muse: Right. You’re talking to yourself. Again.
      Fortunately, you’ve picked an avocation
      where that’s not unusual.
Writer: I’ve got stories to write!
Muse: And this affects me how?
Writer: Dammit, think of my posterity!
Muse: I don’t see why. She never thinks of you.
Writer: But…
Muse: You walk in front of a bus tomorrow and you’re
       One column inch in the next Locus. Maybe.
Writer: But…
Muse: Twenty more years of work, and it’s three
       column inches and a fuzzy picture. Maybe.
Writer: But…
Muse: Most writers, good and bad, are totally forgotten
        within fifty years of their deaths. I give you
        five, but only because I’m feeling generous.
Writer: But…
Muse: But what?
Writer: I want to write a story.
Muse: Why? Didn’t I explain about posterity clearly enough?
Writer: Writing stories keeps me sane.
Muse: Hel-lo? Talking to yourself?
Writer: Relatively sane, then. There are worse things than talking to yourself.
Muse: I suppose so. Oh, all right. Go read a poem called
      “Moon Over Mountain Pass” by the Chinese Poet Li-Po.
Writer: Why?
Muse: Your next story is hiding there. Go look for it.
Writer: Umm… ok. By the way, now you look Asian. Weren’t
      You a redhead in a babushka just a minute ago?
Muse: What’s your point?
Writer: I guess I don’t have one.
Muse: That’s right. By the way: Seven Down, nine letters, “Everyday, ordinary”?
Writer: “quotidian”
Muse: Thanks.
Writer: Yeah. Same to you.

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