Why I Hate the Bubble Witch

IMG_0486It’s probably an indication of how much I do not want to talk politics here that my main topic for today is how much I’m coming to hate the Bubble Witch. It was either that or my recent struggle to find an appropriate parlor guitar, and how my hopes were dashed when the Takamine G Mini I had my eye on was already sold and the dealer hadn’t updated his listing. Disappointing at least, annoying at most. In a nutshell—not that big a deal. There will be another guitar, and I’ll find it.

As for the Bubble Witch, some of you may know her. She exists in a game called Bubble Witch Saga, or something like it. I play it in idle moments on my android tablet. She conjures the bubbles, I use them to make combinations to clear obstacles and defeat this little skeleton-looking alleged baddie named Morgana. I say “alleged” because Morgana has never done anything to me personally, other than miming a maniacal laugh when I can’t land the right colored bubble on her sanctuary to banish her from the playing field. And that’s all that happens, really. She’s banished. Until the next time. Rather like real evil in the world, as opposed to Morgana. It’ll always be there, and all you can do is play whack-a-mole to keep it in check. You don’t play whack-a-mole and the Donalds…sorry, I meant moles, take over. And bad things happen, either to you or especially to people you respect, know, and love because then it will be open season on them. So playing whack-a-mole is important. Even crucial. Just don’t forget that it’s the game, and there will always be another mole. Or Pence.

Hmm? Oh, right. The Bubble Witch. So why does she annoy me more than the evil Morgana? Because she pretends to be on your side. She pretends to want the same things you want. She conjures the different colored bubbles. Blue, red, green, yellow, whatever, to make a three plus match and clear the path.She’s friendly and perky and stabs you in the back by giving you six happy green bubbles in a row, when all you needed to clear the level was one $%$@ yellow. Then she acts all sad that you lost the round.  Or the election, because you voted for a happy illusion instead of what your common sense told you.

So this time I’m voting for Morgana. Because moles.

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