Things I Learned As a Child



Looking back at it all now, it occurs to me that the life lessons a child learns while trying to turn into an adult can be downright screwy. Here are a few things I picked up on the journey:

  • Always tell the truth. Except when you shouldn’t. For instance, the answer to the question “Aren’t you ashamed of yourself?” is never, ever “No, not really.”
  • Be Creative. Except when you shouldn’t. This was when I learned that an improvised flamethrower is not the best method for removing a wasp’s nest. It works, but the collateral damage can be significant.
  • Understand that what seems normal and natural to you likely won’t be to everyone. For instance, when I was a kid, I often wondered what it would be like to be someone else. How was the world I saw and experienced different for them? How was my sisters’, or my uncle’s reality different or the same? Expressing the thought was not a good idea. People worried about me.
  • Repeating a word in mixed company you heard your uncle use? A very not good idea.


Things I learned as an adult:

  • I don’t know nearly as much as I thought I did.
  • The grown-ups I knew as a child were, as the movie said, “Making it up as they go, just like I was.” Wish I’d known that at the time.
  • Growing up is highly overrated. I can’t recommend it.


I won’t call this something I learned, just a piece of new information (well, it was new to me): I have a Wikipedia page now. I have no idea how it got there. The information is superficial, naturally, but mostly accurate. Read it while you can, because it’s being considered for deletion. And here I thought I’d “arrived.” Richard Parks.

5 thoughts on “Things I Learned As a Child

  1. Sorry I didn’t respond sooner, as I was out of town dealing with a dying phone. I appreciate your thought, however it turns out. I’ll see if anyone in my FB group works with Wiki; maybe they could help.

      • Well, a couple other people have now voted on (and helped improve) the article and the delete discussion was closed with a decision of “keep,” so your place in Wikipedia now appears safe. One of them cited in support of keeping it that there were bluelinks to other Wikipedia articles on some of your books–an argument I myself could not have made with a straight face, since I created the articles mentioned around the same time I created your author article–but I’m not about to question his reasoning!

      • I appreciate all your help on this. Having a wiki article will make it easier for any interested readers to find me, which is always a good thing.

  2. Since you wondered, I put it up. I thought your lack of a wikipedia page inexplicable. Right now I’m arguing online with the person who wants to delete it against doing so. If there are any other wikipedians out there who also enjoy your work and want to vote to keep your page up, I’d appreciate the backup.

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