Category Archives: Process

Writing Exercise #5

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I think writing exercise #5 was meant to be a bit surreal–write a story from the viewpoint of a freshly scrubbed floor, 15 minute time limit. Heh. You’re not going to throw an old animist with that one.

“Planks”

I’ve heard of something called “planking,” but I don’t think that’s what it meant when my tree went to the sawmill. It meant planks. Literally. They turned my graceful, beautiful old alder into planks, and since I was of the tree and in the tree, I went along. It’s not as if I had much choice.

I’m not sure what I was being punished for. I bet it was Zeus. “King of the Gods” and all, sure, but he never handled rejection well. I mean, I could have said yes, it’s not that I would have minded so much, but then there was Hera to contend with. Believe me, being sawn into lumber isn’t the worst thing that can happen to a person.

So I thought, fine, I’m a spirit that inhabits a stack of planks now. No more wind rustling my leaves. No more dodging the satyrs in the sacred grove…well, now that I think about it, the situation wasn’t all bad. And most of my planks stayed in the same bundle, which kept my spirit more or less intact and not very much changed. I was hoping to be made into a nice boat, perhaps. I hadn’t seen much of the world, there in the forest, but the nymphs talked about it all the time, and sometimes the nereids visited. I thought I should like to sail on the ocean, if I couldn’t live quietly in my grove, but no. Apparently, Zeus held a grudge.

Now my tree is a floor, and in a sense, so am I. In something called an “apartment.” A man’s apartment. it’s a lively place, I’ll grant you. He has friends, and I like the parties, even though people drop things and he’s not much for cleaning. I could overlook that. After all, he’s kind of cute, for a mortal. It’s taken some adjustment, but I’m learning to work my spirit free again so I can roam as in the old days, but I can’t meet him like this. Not yet, anyway. I’m filthy…

His mother is coming. There’s a sense of urgency, but I’m not complaining. He’s straightening the place up, and wonder of wonders–he’s actually mopping. Not a professional job, but not too bad. I’ve got a bit of a shine. Much better. I can do this.

Maybe he’ll think I’m a ghost. I sort of am, in a way, but I am also his floor. And I am, yes, very much real, and alive, and perhaps I will show him. Once his mother leaves, of course.

The Company We Keep

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In the last several months I’ve heard more than one established pro say something along the lines of “I’m sure glad that I broke in when I did. It’s a lot harder now.”

Whether you accept that premise or not depends mostly on how you define your terms. If you’re working strictly at novel length, that’s one thing. If you consider “breaking in” the process of making your first few decent short fiction sales and going from wannabe to neopro, then the statement is absurd on the face of it. It’s not easy to sell to a top-notch market starting out, and the fact that some people manage doesn’t change that. It wasn’t easy 10-20 years ago and it’s not any easier now, and if it was much if any easier back in the true pulp era I’d be amazed.

If, otoh, you define “breaking in” as establishing yourself and becoming a recognized name in the sf/f field, that’s a different kettle of herring. Over the past twenty years or so that’s gotten quite a bit harder. There are a lot of reasons for that: competition from other media, a fragmented readership, et many ceteras. Whatever the reason(s), I think it’s quite arguable that establishing yourself in the sf/f field is harder now than it’s ever been.

So why do new writers insist on making it harder than it has to be? Continue reading →

A Brief “FYI” on the Lord Yamada Series

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I know some of you are familiar with the Lord Yamada series, my stories about a minor aristocrat in Heian Japan who makes his living as a “nobleman’s proxy,” basically a private investigator who handles situations, mostly of a paranormal nature, that his social betters either can’t handle or would be too embarrassed to try. (For anyone who isn’t familiar and wants to know what I’m talking about, The Mansion of Bones in Beneath Ceaseless Skies #19 wouldn’t be a bad place to start. It’s online and free). Now then–I’m bringing this up because of a misunderstanding that cropped up at this week’s writer’s group. Someone referred to Yamada as a samurai. Continue reading →

“Now the Monkey on My Back Has a New Act”

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We’ve all heard the old chestnut “Be careful what you wish for, because you might get it.”

Expectations. In my personal opinion, expectations can kill a career as dead as Ordering to the Net, only quicker. It’s perfectly normal that you start selling stories and think “Now what?” Ok, so you’ve sold a story? Have you qualified for Active in SFWA? Ok, that’s three stories, good. The first two weren’t flukes, that’s nice to know. So. Have you sold a collection? Ok, now you’ve sold a collection? Marvelous! Have you sold a novel? Won a Nebula or Hugo? Been nominated for any darn thing? Sold a Movie Option? Done… well, you get the idea. My friend and mentor Parke Godwin once described this as the “Now the Monkey on My Back Has a New Act” syndrome. This is perfectly normal. What’s not normal is when the monkey, so to speak, thinks the show’s over.

We tend to forget that the sole purpose of a goal is to be a target, but once you hit the mark, its job is done. A goal in its pure essence is a direction, not a destination. One you reach a goal you don’t clear a plot of land on the site, build a split-level with a pool in the back yard and move in. That way lies stagnation. If you don’t want to stagnate, you have to look for the next goal or retire. Those are your choices. Pick one. Continue reading →

Writing Exercise #4

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We had a little more time on this one (I think there was an operational error on the timer), and I took advantage. The challenge was “What frightens you?” To which my immediate reaction was “Hell, what doesn’t frighten me?” And so it went.

Dr. Louis asked his first question, “Mr. Crenshaw, what are
you afraid of?”

I almost walked out then and there. I didn’t care how  highly recommended the guy was, I thought it was a stupid thing to ask. What was I afraid of? Hell, what wasn’t I afraid of? But I was on the hook for the first session whether I was there or not, so I decided to play along.

“Well, there’s spiders.”

“That’s a common one—“ Dr. Louis began, but I didn’t let
him finish. “And mice. And Cats. And… snakes. And dark holes where snakes might
be hiding. Let’s see…. Wasps. Bees. The entire hymenoptera family, really.”

“Your chart doesn’t mention an allergy.”

“What’s that got to do with anything? Now, where was
I…right. Hymenoptera, and lepidoptera too—that’s butterflies and moths.  Plus cattle prods. Cattle. Herd animals of any kind. Dust. Mold. Germs. Sterile environments. Polyester–”

“Out of curiosity,” Dr. Louis asked, “Why polyester?” Continue reading →