Fade In: It’s the library. Same old furnishings, same old computer desk and chair. Only the chair has been modified to remove the arm rests. WRITER is sitting in chair, and he is not writing. Enter the MUSE, doing a passable imitation of Pallas Athena. She even has the spear, shield, and helmet. The spear is pointed with alarming accuracy at the middle of Writer’s back.
MUSE: Mind telling me what you’re doing?
(A twang reverberates through the library. If one was feeling generous, one might call it a C major chord. But only if.)
MUSE: What do you mean, practicing? That’s a guitar!
WRITER: Well spotted.
MUSE: We’ll talk about your use of idiom later, but it’s obvious you’ve been watching too much Harry Potter lately.
WRITER: You’re one to talk. Who got me started using the term “barking mad” for people who are, well, barking mad?