Monthly Archives: October 2011

“Now the Monkey on My Back Has a New Act”

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We’ve all heard the old chestnut “Be careful what you wish for, because you might get it.”

Expectations. In my personal opinion, expectations can kill a career as dead as Ordering to the Net, only quicker. It’s perfectly normal that you start selling stories and think “Now what?” Ok, so you’ve sold a story? Have you qualified for Active in SFWA? Ok, that’s three stories, good. The first two weren’t flukes, that’s nice to know. So. Have you sold a collection? Ok, now you’ve sold a collection? Marvelous! Have you sold a novel? Won a Nebula or Hugo? Been nominated for any darn thing? Sold a Movie Option? Done… well, you get the idea. My friend and mentor Parke Godwin once described this as the “Now the Monkey on My Back Has a New Act” syndrome. This is perfectly normal. What’s not normal is when the monkey, so to speak, thinks the show’s over.

We tend to forget that the sole purpose of a goal is to be a target, but once you hit the mark, its job is done. A goal in its pure essence is a direction, not a destination. One you reach a goal you don’t clear a plot of land on the site, build a split-level with a pool in the back yard and move in. That way lies stagnation. If you don’t want to stagnate, you have to look for the next goal or retire. Those are your choices. Pick one. Continue reading →

Writing Exercise #4

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We had a little more time on this one (I think there was an operational error on the timer), and I took advantage. The challenge was “What frightens you?” To which my immediate reaction was “Hell, what doesn’t frighten me?” And so it went.

Dr. Louis asked his first question, “Mr. Crenshaw, what are
you afraid of?”

I almost walked out then and there. I didn’t care how  highly recommended the guy was, I thought it was a stupid thing to ask. What was I afraid of? Hell, what wasn’t I afraid of? But I was on the hook for the first session whether I was there or not, so I decided to play along.

“Well, there’s spiders.”

“That’s a common one—“ Dr. Louis began, but I didn’t let
him finish. “And mice. And Cats. And… snakes. And dark holes where snakes might
be hiding. Let’s see…. Wasps. Bees. The entire hymenoptera family, really.”

“Your chart doesn’t mention an allergy.”

“What’s that got to do with anything? Now, where was
I…right. Hymenoptera, and lepidoptera too—that’s butterflies and moths.  Plus cattle prods. Cattle. Herd animals of any kind. Dust. Mold. Germs. Sterile environments. Polyester–”

“Out of curiosity,” Dr. Louis asked, “Why polyester?” Continue reading →

SF vs Fantasy, or “Do I Really Care How Many Angels Can Dance on a Bar?”

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 Every so often, you know it’s going to happen. Like a dormant virus, it waits until conditions are right and then there’s the sudden outbreak, often triggered by a particular novel or story—“Is Deadbeat Downbelow really sf? I mean, its tone is very sfnal, but where’s the speculation?” or “Magic Wind Fairies reads like sf, I mean, everything’s very logical and thought out.” I follow the conversations with interest (it’s nearly always interesting when intelligent people discuss matters near and dear to them) but I don’t really have much to contribute. Maybe there really is a line, maybe there isn’t. Yet even those who agree that you can draw a line and say, “This side fantasy, this side sf” are never going to agree on where that line is going to be drawn. Continue reading →

Landscaping as Endurance Test

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Earlier this year we had two Southern Pines  taken down near our property line. They were too close to the house and made a mess besides. So then we had this bare strip of dirt bordering our neighbors, which made Carol unhappy. This weekend we set about correcting this. The plan was simple in theory—replace the pines with a smaller tree and then fill in the border with shrubs. Only our plan didn’t really take into account the nature of the dirt in that spot. If you can call it dirt. Here we call it pure Yazoo Clay.

There were eight plantings all together. Three “Sky Pencil” hollies along the fence. One Japanese Maple on the border strip, with two Chinese Hollies on either side. I tried a shovel. Yazoo Clay laughs at shovels. There are rocks that aren’t as hard to dig as packed Yazoo Clay. It occurred to me that there was a reason there were two pine trees in that location—nothing else would grow there of its own free will. So I got out the mattock, and that worked a little better, even though the situation was complicated by the fact that, while the trees were gone, most of their root systems were still in place. I was having to take frequent rest breaks, which prompted Carol to suggest that “Maybe we should have done this when we were younger. And of course by ‘we’ I mean ‘you.'”  Ha. Ha. She so funny.

 I managed three plantings on Saturday and the other five on Sunday. After about the twentieth pine root I’d chopped through, I took a good look at my mattock.

It was twisted.

 Next time, I’m renting a jack-hammer, but only because dynamite is illegal.

WTF Was I Thinking?

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Am I dogmatic? Sure looks that way sometimes. This or that discourse on the process of writing, filled with sturm and drang about “this is how that works” or “that is how that does not work,” and avoiding mistakes, and making the right mistakes…

While it hardly needs mentioning, I’m going to mention it anyway–when it comes to writing or most anything else, I don’t have the answers. In fact, I’m pretty sure I didn’t understand the questions. And “promotion”? Puh-lease. My canned response on any panel about authorly self-promotion is this: “Watch what I do very carefully, and then for the love of heaven do something else.” Whatever career I’ve put together has been mostly work, trial and error, and dumb luck. So just what is it I’m doing here? Continue reading →