Yeah, Though I Walk Through the Valley of Uncanny

Our text for today is “The Uncanny Valley.” No, it’s not the title of the latest pseudo-scientific romance or a herald of the return of the gothic novel. It’s a rather intriguing theory proposed by the Japanese computer scientist Masahiro Mori in 1970, and it goes something like this: as robots are made more and more human-like, they are perceived more and more positively by actual humans until they reach a point in the curve where they are almost but not quite fully human-appearing, and it is at that point that the positive reaction quickly changes to feelings of revulsion, repulsion, even horror. It is only when the robot is fully human in appearance does the effect reverse itself. This sudden sharp drop in the graph is what Mori referred to as “the uncanny valley.”

Considering mankind’s very slow progress in robotics, it shouldn’t be a surprise that the bulk of anecdotal confirmation for Mori’s theory came first from computer graphics rather than robotics. It’s almost trivial these days for a good CGI artist to make a realistic-looking human figure rendered in 3D, but animating that figure equally as realistically? That is another story and it turns out Mori might have been on to something—there’s something wired into our lizard-brains that means humans are extremely sensitive to perceptions of “almost but not quite right.” Something wrong with the way the mouth moves, the sheen on the skin, the eyes that forget to blink, and we’re thinking alien, undead, pod-person, whatever. More recently, computer scientists have come to question the entire notion of “the uncanny valley,” saying there’s no scientific evidence for it. True. All anecdotal, as I said. Still, I tend to think there’s something there.

It also explains the effectiveness of some approaches to dark fantasy and horror, where there’s someone there who isn’t quite right. The protagonist can’t quite get a grip on it, but there’s something wrong with the new neighbor. Unease builds on little incidents, little hints, until the secret is revealed—OMG, he’s a vampire! Or Democrat. Or Republican Or vegetarian. Some inexplicable OTHER. Probably overused, but then cliches get repeated for a reason.

All of which is a round the world way of saying that now I finally understand why I can’t stand to play Elder Scrolls: Oblivion on my PS3, and why I haven’t picked up Skyrim. Despite the game’s many good points, I can’t bear to look at it for long. All the characters creep the heck out of me.

*Nothing says “Monday” like starting a post with a typo.

Scenes From a Marriage #7

Sitting with Mrs. Ogre in a local fast food restaurant having sort of breakfast before starting a busy busy day. A group of cyclists had walked by (or I had walked by them while bringing out the food, the record is murky) and I overheard a snippet of conversation about how to identify birds “The females are easy to spot. They’re ugly.” (Note that this was a female cyclist talking). Well, I disagreed with that statement. Female birds are not ugly, they’re inconspicuous and with good reason. I tried to mention as much to Mrs. Ogre.

Me: “When that cyclist said that female birds were ugly…”
She: (interrupting) “What cyclists?”
Me: “There was a group. They walked by a minute before.”
She: “I didn’t see them.”
Me: “Well, they were there.”
She: “How did you know they were cyclists?”
Me: “They were wearing those funny bicycle pants.”
She: “Did they ride up on their bicycles?”
Me: “No, they were in the van that pulled in before us. Their bikes were strapped on the back.”
She: “I didn’t see that. Are you sure you’re not imagining them? Sometimes you have converations in your head (guilty) and forget what part’s real (not guilty).”
Me: “They were there. I promise.”
She: “Are you sure?”
Me: “Yes.”
She: “Ok. What about them?”
Me: “Never mind.”

No wonder our marriage has lasted. It really is all about communication.

Scenes From a Marriage #6

Husband wanders through the living room on his way out to the garage. Wife, watching tv.

SHE:  Damn!
HE:  What?
SHE:  I just wanted to relax for a bit, but everything is in commercial!
HE:  I think they time it that way on purpose.
SHE:  Thank god for the shopping channels.
HE (blinking):  The shopping channels?
SHE:  Yes. They’re almost never in commercial.
HE:  Ummm…they’re shopping channels.
SHE:  What’s your point?
HE:  Well, I mean, aren’t they always trying to sell you something? So aren’t they, by definition, always “in commercial”?
SHE (frostily):  It’s not the same thing at all.
HE:  It isn’t?
SHE:  No! They’re making things available that might interest me. There are things there that I usually don’t see elsewhere. Besides—it’s shopping!
HE (and you just knew he was going to, didn’t you?):  But it’s buying things you found out about on tv! How is that not a commercial?
SHE:  You’re such a … man! Aand you don’t understand anything!
HE: …..
 

(And everything goes downhill from there.)

MUSE (Still dressed like a rocker chick. Interrupting): Liar.
HE: Wait a minute. How did you get in here?
MUSE: I’m always here, you twit.
HE: Oh, right. I forgot.
MUSE: “You forgot”? And I suppose you also forgot just how long you’ve been married?
HE: No, I haven’t.
MUSE:  How long, then?
HE (sighs): Thirty-five years.
MUSE: Right, then. So tell them what really happened.
HE: Okay, fine. We’ll pick it up from about here….

SHE: Thank god for the shopping channels.
HE (blinking): The shopping channels?
SHE: Yes. They’re almost never in commercial.
HE: Right… I’m going out into the garage now. I’ve got to sand something.
SHE: Okay. Love you.
HE: Love you too.  (exeunts)
 

You want to know how to stay married for thirty-five years? Sure, open communication is crucial, but sometimes what’s even more crucial is knowing when to STFU.

You Cannot Defeat Me! Your Mental Google-Fu is Weak!

One of the interesting things about (Getting older? Not being a kid anymore? Surviving?) is that memories tend to accumulate, fragment, and occasionally, resurface in weird ways. Last night I had a bit of animation stuck in my head. Like an earworm only there’s video involved too. I only knew that it was from an old kids’ show and involved a little alien creature who spoke entirely in rebuses. And I couldn’t for the life of me remember where it came from. I was racking my brain over every ancient cartoon series I could think of. (Linus the Lionhearted? No. Tom Terrific? No. Hoppity Hooper? No. Rocky and Bullwinkle? No, not even R&B).

Let me place what happened next in context: I remember plots and storylines. Anything. Books, tv shows, whatever. Mrs. Ogre doesn’t. Many times she’ll be going, “I know I’ve seen this episode before, but…” and I’ll say something like, “Oh, that’t the one where the bad fairies show up.” Doesn’t matter if I saw the thing twenty minutes or twenty years ago. That’s the sort of thing I remember, but I was drawing a complete blank on the little alien. Then Mrs. Ogre blinked and said, “Beany and Cecil?” And danged if I didn’t realized that she was right before she’d finished saying it. Now that I had enough to go on, Google found it: Strange Objects, ca 1962, starring “Beeping Tom” the space alien. I was seven. Mrs. Ogre wasn’t more than 4 1/2. She remembered it, not me.

I think that worried her a bit.