Scenes From a Marriage #5

Mrs. Ogre comes home to find me having a philosophical disagreement with the radio.

She: Who were you talking to?

Me: A comic on the radio. I had a disagreement with something I heard.

She: He can’t hear you. Besides, why listen to the comedy channel if you’re going to get upset?

Me: I always listen to the comedy channels when I’m balancing the checkbook. It helps.

She: Helps how?

Me: Reminds me that there is, somewhere, some joy in the world.

She: Just not in our finances. I did notice that you are not smiling.

Me: Not smiling, no.

She: Then it’s not working, is it?

Me: Sure it is.

She: How?

Me: The checkbook balanced.

She: Wouldn’t it have done that no matter what you were listening to?

Me: Sure.

She: Then why comedy?

Me: I said it would have balanced either way, but comedy is what tells me to believe it when it happens.

“It’s Complicated”

That’s the kind of thing you say, when things are actually pretty simple but you don’t want to explain or perhaps you are trying your best not to understand how simple things really are, because that would be even worse. So here’s the thing–My father died early last month.  I just found out yesterday.

That’s kind of where the “it’s complicated” part comes in. Continue reading

Talking to Myself and Feeling Old

Sometime back in the mid-nineties, just a year or two after I’d started publishing regularly, I was asked to write a profile. I don’t remember by whom. I don’t even remember what for. But I stumbled upon it a while back. Most of it is out of date, other parts are simply overblown and embarrassing, and show just how full of myself I was at the time(Which makes me wonder how much has really changed). But as a document of where I was and what was passing for reflection in my feeble excuse for a brain at the time, I found it interesting. I can’t see how anyone else would but, hey, tough noogies. This is my blog and I feel like sharing. Or in the words of past philosophers– “I’ve suffered for my art. Now it’s your turn.” Continue reading

One is a Single, Two is a Pair, Three is a…..

 If you look to your left, you will see a guitar. If you remember or bother to reference my previous post on this subject, you may realize that this is not the Squier Affinity Stratocaster that I refinished and upgraded recently. If you’re familiar with guitars, then you already knew that without me having to say a blessed thing. No, what we have here is a Peavey Horizon II, circa 1984. I stumbled across this gem in an “antique mall.”  In this case, a flea market with delusions of grandeur. The price was on the ridiculously low side, but I resisted. Did I need another guitar? Of course not. I didn’t “need” the Stratocaster I bought and restored recently, never mind this one. So I left the guitar where it was…but I couldn’t stop thinking about it.

A little background—Peavey is a local company, or rather it was local to me. I grew up about twenty miles from Meridian, MS, where the Peavey company was and is located. A close friend of mine worked for them right out of High School. They started making guitar amps in the 1960’s and that’s primarily what they’re known for. When Fender and others began offering guitar and amp combos in the 1970’s, Peavey followed suit to remain competitive, creating their own guitar line. They also introduced several innovations: they were the first guitar company to use computer-controlled routers to create their guitar bodies to exacting tolerances. They were the first to cut the neck stock lengthwise and re-glue with the grain running in opposite directions for strength, a trick other guitar companies soon copied. They wired their controls so the player could switch from single-coil to humbucker mode on the same pickup just by adjusting the tone control. They were, quite simply, ahead of their time and to this day remain some of the most versatile guitars ever made. Continue reading

Don’t Let the Ducks Win

I figured out not too long ago that something I very much wanted to happen, probably wasn’t going to happen. I am not, however, here to whine and feel sorry for myself. I’ll do both those things, mind you, just not here.

Rather, the latest crash and burn brings to mind the scene from A Princess Bride where Inigo Montoya is dueling with Wesley. Inigo realizes he’s fighting someone better than he is and asks, “Who are you? I must know.” To which Wesley replied, more or less, “Learn to live with disappointment.” Continue reading