Category Archives: Writing

In Which I Diss Zombies

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I’m having a bit of an internal monologue, which I’m going to share here in lieu of actual content. Sometimes I have to think about these things, whether there’s any good reason to do that or not. My thought for today is a mediation on why I’ve never written about zombies.

Yes, why? Good question, and I’d like to thank me for asking it. Not that I have a good answer; I don’t fully understand my motivations for doing or not doing anything. But if I had to guess, I’d say it’s for the same reason I have never written a story about werewolves or unicorns: they just aren’t very interesting. Ok, I know that some people who read here are very fond of zombies and/or werewolves and unicorns, so before you get the knives out, let me explain: They just aren’t very interesting. ‘Kay. Now you can get the knives out.

 Is there a point buried in this pile of nonsense somewhere? No promises, but maybe I can borrow a few knives to dig it out, as we seem to have a few handy. I could dwell on why zombies aren’t interesting–there’s the lack of complex motivation (ala Romero) or the lack of any higher brain function (ala traditional). Scary? Sure. Horrifying? You betcha! Interesting? Not so much. Yet I know that these are simple rationalizations after the fact. It’s perfectly possible to write a zombie story where neither of those restrictions apply, just as it’s quite doable to write a good werewolf or unicorn story. I’ve read a few. One or two I’d rate as classics in the field, so it can be done and has/is being done. Just not by me.

Why? They just aren’t very interesting.

And here we are again. It’s not even that, as subjects, they’re pretty cliché. Subjects become cliché for a reason, and just because their ubiquity level has been raised to cliché it does not mean that new and interesting work can’t be done. As penance for my lack of appreciation, I will now inventory fantasy clichés in my own work:

  • Fairies/fey? Check.
  • Vampires? Only twice, but check.
  •  Dragons? Multiple offenses.
  • Witches/Wizards? Ditto.
  • Sphinxes? Yep.
  • Ancient Gods/Goddesses? Darn right.
  • Demons? Uh-huh. Just ask Yamada.
  • Monsters? Duh.
  • Ghosts? All the time, and Eli Mothersbaugh’s specialty.
  • Deal With the Devil? And proud of it!
  • Mermaids? Of course.
  • Personifications, as in Death or Fate? Guilty.

Let’s face facts here—anyone who’d willingly write a “Deal with the Devil” story is capable of anything. So why no zombie, unicorn, or werewolf stories? They just aren’t – [Visual of the blogger being whapped on the nose with a rolled-up newspaper. Heaven knows where they found one] Besides being painful, that interruption reveals the true answer. Why no zombie, werewolf, or unicorn stories? Because there aren’t any, as in “aren’t any rattling around in my brain.” No matter how many times I turn the notion in my head, it just comes back to this. I’ve already talked about recognizing a story when you see one, and this is the real reason I’ve never done unicorn stories or zombie stories or werewolf stories–I just don’t recognize anything relating to them as a story.  It’s really as simple and ungrammatical as that. The fact that I don’t find them interesting is effect, not cause.  I haven’t had a zombie or unicorn or werewolf story to write. In the case of the unicorn, I can’t see the point. Until and unless I come up with something that is at least as interesting to me on a story level as Peter Beagle’s The Last Unicorn or Theodore Sturgeon’s “The Silken Swift,” the subject is a closed door. If I ever do get such a notion, the door will spring open and I’ll find that particular subject is as interesting as anything I’ve ever written about and I’ll eat whatever steaming plate of crow is required. Will it happen? Dunno. I’d say it’s even odds. But until then, “They just aren’t–”

[Whoosh] Ha! Missed me!

In the Palace of the Jade Lion

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When Realms of Fantasy closed it had two of my stories in inventory, and now that the contracts are signed I can mention that the first of them, “In the Palace of the Jade Lion,” has sold to Beneath Ceaseless Skies. This is a 12,000 word ghost story set in ancient China during the Warring States period, and the first non-Yamada story that I’ve placed there.

I’m rather proud of this one. Which I suppose is the kind of thing a writer would normally say, but it’s true. I think it’s a fun story and I’m rather pleased with the way it turned out. Naturally I’m happy that it found a good home.

Rules Are Made to Be Useful

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Philip K. Dick is quoted as saying (paraphrase) “In a short story, the characters exist to serve the idea. In a novel, the plot/story exists to serve the characters.”  Ok, so yes it’s a gross oversimplification and we can all think of exceptions (with all due respect to the Good Doctor, just about anything Isaac Asimov ever wrote, at any length). And it also seems to imply that short story characters, for lack of time, interest, and emphasis, are always going to pale against characters from a novel, which is nonsense on the face of it (see Fritz Leiber or Kelly Link or Andy Duncan. ’nuff said.).

And yet there is a grain of truth there. Continue reading →

Rambling Status Update

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Today’s post really is all about me, so fair warning. If you’re not in the mood for narcissist on parade, bail now.

The new Yamada story has gone through a couple of revision passes and was safe to hand over to First Reader. Likewise for the “Voodoo Christmas” story, which turned out well enough that it might be worth trying on places that do seasonal pieces. Regardless, everything gets at least one revision pass because, except for me who has no choice in the matter, nobody sees my first drafts, not even First Reader. They’re generally a mess, since I give myself permission to write awkward transitions, to ramble, to write things out-of-order, whatever it takes to get the story out. In revision, all those permissions are revoked, and the offenders will be ruthlessly hunted down. I’m still in the habit of printing out a hard copy once a story first draft is finished, so if there ever comes a time when anyone cares, they can read them after I’m dead. Maybe.

That catches up the short story projects, at least until First Reader reports back on the Yamada story. Once I’ve attended to that, it’s time to decide what’s next. At some point this year I’d like to get back to work on the sequel to Black Kath’s Daughter. At the end of BKD Marta had only found three Laws of Power, and there are four to go…well, four that she knows about. Up until BKD, all my novels had been stand-alones. The sequel definitely won’t be. While on the surface the only connection between The Long Look and BKD is the setting (500 years later) and the Power called Amaet, there’s more to it which will come out in the third book. Still, you can read BKD without reading  TLL and it’ll make sense. That probably won’t be true with the third. The working title is Power’s Shadow, but is of course subject to change.

Yesterday I got a clear reminder that the best advertising of all is a happy reader championing your work. Writers need champions. Probably because, when we do it ourselves, nobody really believes us. That’s sensible because, sure, what else would we say? Yet we have to do it anyway, since usually we’re the only ones who will. Though it is nice, every now and then, to be able to say “Don’t take MY word for it….”

In the last year I’ve done three signings, which is three more than I usually do. I don’t know if this is a blip or a trend, but time will tell. I’m actually in danger of running out of books. I’m still on track next year for a novel and a short story collection, so that should help. I’m also thinking of doing a print version of one other ebook this year. Just the one, though, so I have to decide which one. Right now I’m leaning toward A Warrior of Dreams. There are a couple of pending reader reactions, so I’ll make up my mind when the votes are in.

That is all.

Why Yes, I WOULD Cut Off My Nose to Spite My Face, Why Do You Ask?

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 Anyone can be a published writer if all you want to do is make ebook versions of your stories/novels and put them up on Kindle/Nook/iBook/Whatever. I’m not slagging on the idea. I’ll grant you, there’s a time I would have, but times change and it’s adapt or die. Now I do it myself when doing so makes sense to me. However, if you still want to sell stories to professional  science fiction and fantasy (SF/F) markets in the traditional way, deciding between Garamond vs Bookman Old Style is no longer your concern. It’s also no longer about whether your stories please you. Before you see print/online publication, you’ve got to please someone else–the editor.

The traditional SF/F short fiction market is a buyer’s market. Always has been and probably always will be. Even with the explosion of online venues, there are more good stories than there are decent homes for them, for varying values of “decent” and, let’s be honest, varying values of “good.” Fortunately there are enough variances in editorial taste that eventually things usually work out. “Eventually” meaning just that–it can take years to place some stories. “Usually” meaning, sigh, not always. But I’m not here to lament this sad fact, merely to state it, to place what follows in context–The Sh*tlist  Continue reading →