Walking the Tightrope

You know all those “author bios” you see when you read a story or book and have something like this pop up at the end?

“Johnny Authorboy is the author of many novels, of which he is the author. He likes cats and chocolate, but not together. He lives somewhere in Wyoming, but he’s not sure where because the road isn’t marked.”

Or maybe: “Elizabeth Page-Turner is the author of the bestselling “Empirical Empress” series for Goshwow Books. In her spare time she collects celebrity belly-button lint.”

Yeah, those things? We have to write them ourselves. Continue reading

Announcing a Contest

WarGod-600

I received the official word from Audible.com that Yamada Monogatari: The War God’s Son is available in audiobook format (I know some of you were already aware of this fact). What you didn’t know is that they also just sent me some one-time codes for a free copy of the audio version. More than I can use, actually, so rather than let them go to waste, I thought I’d try to give some of those who read this blog a shot at one.

I haven’t done many of these, but a contest seemed the fairest way, so if any of you are interested, let’s have one. Below the next paragraph is the “official” description of the book at Amazon, or B&N, etc. Some of you may have even seen it, but what you might not know is that the listing contains a typographical error. That is, a rather important word is spelled wrong. I’ve been assured that it will be corrected, but you know how these things work—once it’s on the internet, the genie is out of the bottle. Chances are it’ll always be there, somewhere.

So here’s what I’ll do—to the first person who spots the mistake and sends me an email (you know how to translate this: ogresan(at)gmaildotcom )correctly identifying the error, I will send a free coupon code good for one copy of the audiobook version of Yamada Monogatari: The War God’s Son, marvelously narrated by Brian Nishii, along with instructions for using that coupon (not complicated, but for those who aren’t familiar with Audible.com, probably helpful). I’m not going to claim that there is ONLY one mistake in the listing, but keep in mind that I am looking for a very specific one, and the decision of the judge–me–is final:

“The Abe clan and its allies are in full rebellion. When the Emperor’s greatest military leader, Yoshii, is targeted for assassination by magic, it is up to the newly sober Lord Yamada and his exorcist associate Kenji to keep the young man alive long enough to put down the uprising before the entire country is consumed by war. Yamada knows how to deal with demons, monsters, and angry ghosts, but the greatest threat of all is one final assassin, hidden in a place where no one—especially Lord Yamada—would ever think to look.”

Black Kath’s Daughter – Corporeal Edition

Canemill Publishing Edition

I was a little hesitant to take this step, but as has recently been emphasized to me, not everyone has joined the ebook revolution. Odd that an old print snob like me had to be reminded of this, yet there it is. So. Today I’m announcing that, yes, there will be a trade paper print edition of Black Kath’s Daughter. In fact, it’s already orderable through CreateSpace. The Amazon page should show up in a few days. If you’re one of those people who think Amazon is the root of all evil, you can also order it through your local indie bookstore or even a B&N. It’s a real book. It has ISBNs and everything:

ISBN: 0615594778

EAN13: 978-0615594774

Putting this edition together has been an experience. I mean, I’m glad I did it, I learned a lot, and I won’t swear that I won’t do it again (in truth, I’m pretty sure I will), but it did remind me of just how much I don’t want to be a publisher. Getting a book into print is a lot of work, but that’s the least of it. The big drag is time. I only have so much, and when I’m editing, formatting, designing a cover, and proofing, I’m not writing. If I’m not writing, then what’s the point of all that other stuff?

Anyway, book is published, and I’m writing a new story. The fabric of reality is still holding up. For now. And if there is anything else of mine that now only exists in phosphors that you would like to see get a print edition, let me know. I may not write to the market but I do take requests.

In-Depth Interview Fail

I’ve decided that I want to interview me. Because, to be blunt, there were things I’ve always wanted to know about me, but I’d never asked. 

Question: Where were you born?

Answer: Newton, Mississippi, Newton County Hospital. The hospital no longer exists. Newton, last time I checked, does.

Question: Where did you go to HS?

Answer: Hickory High School. It also no longer exists. Probably for the best.

Question: College?

Answer: Copiah-Lincoln Jr. College, University of Southern Mississippi, and Mississippi College. I have undergraduate degrees in Polymer Science and Math and Computing Science. I have no idea why.

Question: Enough biographical background that no one cares about, but we interviewers just ask to be polite. Can I ask something serious now?

Answer: Go for it.

Question: What was your first published story?

Answer: It’s in the bibliography. Honestly, do you guys even know who you’re interviewing?

Question: That tends to cloud our judgment. I like to keep an open mind. What about you?

Answer: Like a steel sieve.

Question: What’s your personal philosophy? Are you a Determinist?

Answer: I haven’t determined that yet.

Question: Fair Enough. Boxers or briefs?

Answer: The Boxer Rebellion was fairly brief, yes.

Question: You really are a silly git, aren’t you?

Answer: That’s the first intelligent question I’ve heard today. Would you like to try for two?

Question: I’m asking the questions here. You’re written a series of stories about a ghost hunter. Do you really believe in ghosts?

Answer: Yes.

Question: Why?

Answer: Mostly because it annoys the Baptists.

Question: Weren’t you raised Baptist?

Answer: My point.

Question: OOO-kay. Moving on. What are your current religious beliefs?

Answer: I firmly believe that this is no one’s business but mine and any deities involved.

Question: You’re not being co-operative.

Answer: I’m sorry, but you forgot to phrase that in the form of a question. I’ll take “Bored Audience” for a thousand, Alex.

Question: Do I look like a game show host?

Answer: Yes. Sorry.

 

Clearly, I suck at this, but if anyone has any actual questions, I’ll be glad to answer them. Or not, as the whim takes me. Otherwise, I’ll be spending some quality time with the Complacence Fairy.